When procrastination isn’t just an ADHD thing

I recently had the privilege of working with a wonderful woman in a single session of therapy. With her informed consent, and with identifying details changed, I’m sharing this brief version of our work together, as it powerfully illustrates the potential of experiential therapy to support real change.

Please note that this is a condensed account of a rich and nuanced session — the real work involved many more pauses, relational moments, and co-created shifts that a written story can’t fully capture. But here’s the essence as I remember it.

Sophie (not her real name) turned up at our online session with a challenge. She said to me:

“I need to get this repair sorted out. I know I can do it, it’s not that I don’t have the skill. I just can’t get myself to do it!”

Sophie told me she was diagnosed ADHD, and wanted some tips in how to deal with chronic delaying of tasks she knew she could do. Initially, I wondered if this issue could be resolved together through exploring possible ADHD hacks such as body-doubling, breaking tasks down into small steps etc. This is how ADHD coaches tend to work to support their clients. It’s incredibly valuable, and sometimes just having the accountability of a coach or therapist can form the catalytic ingredient needed to get that snowball rolling. We had a chat about various ADHD angles on the issue but somehow, it still felt unusually stuck.

So what next?

This is where my background in coherence therapy came in as a way of exploring the stuckness. I invited Sophie to imagine going downstairs to the repair, standing next to the repair and then starting to do the job in-hand. What I’m looking for here is the coherent emotional reason for definitely not sorting out the repair – there’s always, always a good reason why we don’t do things!

Before long, Sophie noticed an inner voice emerge, saying:

“you’re rubbish, you can’t do that.”

It felt harsh and critical, immediately recognisable as echoing a voice from her childhood. Sophie described the internalised presence of a critical, undermining figure from her past.

At this point, it became clear: this wasn’t an ADHD issue. It was an emotional learning — a deep-seated belief installed long ago, still shaping her present-day experience.

Calling in the Inner Allies

So next I’m thinking to myself, how are we going to deal with this bully who has just turned up – he’s basically stopping her from doing what she wants to do. It’s not an ADHD thing, it’s an emotional belief thing. Beware the red herring! To create the possibility for change, Sophie needed a new emotional experience — something to powerfully challenge the old narrative.

I decided to ask Sophie to reflect on who or what in her life does she know that is powerful, has courage, is strong and doesn’t take any messing around from anyone. Immediately, Sophie said, “well, I know who that is, it’s Evy Poumpouras!”

Me: Fabulous, that’s great. How would you feel about sorting this person out with the help of Evy Poumpouras so you can get on with sorting out the repair?

Sophie: I’d love to do that, that sounds like a great idea!

Me: Ok, so what we’re going to do is, I’m going to invite you to imagine Evy, describe her and then we’re going to just go to the repair and see what wants to happen. We can just take things step by step.

So in we go, into the other dimension. This is the most amazing and resourceful world of possibility and healing. I’ve been to this place many times with clients and it delivers without fail.

I invite Sophie to describe Evy (Sophie closes her eyes at this point, and I support her in relaxing into a more hypnagogic state):Sophie: She’s wearing a business suit and pointed shoes, and she has her hair in a blonde pony tail. She says she’s here to help me. Initially, Sophie hesitated — worried about taking up Evy’s time. We checked in, and Evy reassured her that this was an important "scheduled business meeting."

The Transformation

Rather than confronting the critical voice directly, as Sophie didn’t want to see the figure, we decided to put him far away behind the door, and instead his presence appeared as a sort of cloud floating above her head.

I asked: "What would Evy like to do with this cloud?"

Without missing a beat, Sophie replied:

"She’s got a gun. She’s going to shoot it."

Ok, yes go for it, good on Evy!

Sophie: She doesn’t take any shit!

Me: (I am noticing the cloud has loads of holes in it)…Sophie: The cloud is dust, it’s just dust. There’s nothing left of him.

At this point, both Sophie and I are laughing and I am noticing a wave of energy moving through my body, like something has shifted. It could not be any clearer than the metaphor of a cloud lifting!

Something profound had shifted.

Afterwards, Sophie and Evy mentally tackled the home repair together, working out the steps calmly and confidently. As she was leaving and we were saying our goodbyes, Evy offered a final piece of encouragement:

"Appreciate yourself."

It never fails to surprise me how our inner allies have their own sense of agency and sometimes this comes in words of wisdom to share. As we came back into the every-day dimension of talking and interacting, I asked Sophie how it was to do that, and she reported that she felt completely different – like something had shifted and now she couldn’t wait to go and get the repair done.

Reflections

This was the heart of our work together: not tips and tricks, but a deep, corrective experience of self-worth and capability.

One session can change everything.

Never underestimate the power of imagination — the "imaginal world" is full of courageous allies, waiting to help us fight old battles and reclaim our power. It’s a profound privilege to walk with my clients through these transformative landscapes.

Who are your inner protectors, champions, or nurturers?

They’re closer than you might think #adhd #procrastination #coherancetherapy