Following the Comet’s Trail: How autistic pattern recognition guides neuroaffirmative therapy
- Catherine Flynn
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
Autistic pattern recognition is a key defining trait for autistic people - read on to find out more.
Have you ever had that moment—where something doesn’t quite add up, but you can’t say why?
Maybe someone says they’re “fine,” but the timing of their smile is off.Maybe you walk into a room and sense a heaviness, a shift in tone.Maybe you notice that the same feeling keeps bubbling up in different places, like echoes of a story you haven’t fully told yourself yet.
If that sounds familiar, you’re probably a pattern-spotter. I am too. For me it’s an autistic thing. This article is inspired by listening to Pillar five of autistic culture, explored in the Autistic Culture podcast with Dr. Angela Kingdon.
It shows up in therapy all the time. I’ll notice a client hesitate before mentioning someone’s name, or how their voice subtly shifts when they describe their morning compared to their evening. I start tracing the thread—following the trail of something that hasn’t been named yet, but is already there, quietly pointing the way.
And here’s what I’ve realised: many of my neurodivergent clients are already doing the same thing.They just don’t know they are.
The Art of Therapeutic Sleuthing
“I’m probably just overthinking,” they say, with that apologetic shame, as if their brain’s capacity to notice subtleties is somehow a character flaw.
What happens next in therapy is that we create a space together where we can unfold an intricate web of micro-changes they’ve been tracking. And then a realisation might start to dawn on them. Something like: “Oh... this isn’t overthinking—I was onto something!”
That’s pattern recognition.
Internally, I’m also reflecting on the fact that what they’re sensing isn’t just external; it’s what Eugene Gendlin called a felt sense—that bodily knowing that arrives before cognition, before language.
The Hidden Gift (and Cost)
Here’s what many pattern-spotters don’t realise: their brains are working incredibly hard all the time, running complex analysis in the background, tracking multiple variables that others don’t even register.
It’s like being the air traffic controller for everyone’s emotional weather.You might know your boss will have a difficult day based on the tone of their morning email. You might sense your loved one’s loneliness before they do.
It’s a remarkable form of contact with unique information—but it’s also important to acknowledge how exhausting this can be. Because you can’t easily switch off being attuned to everyone else’s weather patterns.
So many neurodivergent people spend years being told they’re “too sensitive” or “reading too much into things”—particularly women and those who are late-discovered. As a result, they often learn to second-guess their perceptions and dismiss their insights.
But the truth is, neurodivergent people are often the canaries in the coal mine, detecting changes in systems before anyone else realises something is shifting. It’s important to nurture this felt sense in neuro affirmative therapy—to encourage it and validate it. To say: “You’re not wrong.”
When Everything Shifts
This is where the real therapeutic work begins. Instead of shutting down people’s observations, I lean in and say: “Tell me more about what you’re noticing.”
After years of external and self-gaslighting, just this simple invitation in a non-judgemental space can create a micro-movement toward honouring their neurodivergent spidey sense.
I’ve noticed in my work how some clients feel shame about changing their life situation—like leaving a job “too soon.” But when we examine their stories, it’s not flightiness or being fickle—it’s reading warning signs months before anyone else.
It’s so unfortunate that autistic people often get taught to ignore the patterns. Because actually, that pattern recognition can become a protection system—helping avoid burnout by spotting early indicators of toxic cultures.
So you might want to ask yourself:What if, instead of overthinking, you’re actually seeing clearly?
Supporting the Pattern-Spotters
How can you honour this way of being?
Validation first. When you have a “weird feeling,” don’t rationalise it away. Be curious toward your nervous system’s processing and lean in.
Follow the lead. Instead of directing yourself away from observations, follow the trail. What might your inner detective—or your inner body—be trying to tell you?
Reframe the narrative. Change your story from “I’m overthinking” to “I’m processing complex information.” From “too sensitive” to “highly attuned.”
Acknowledge both sides. Talk honestly with your loved ones about how exhausting it is to notice everything, while also celebrating the insights it brings.
Build boundaries. How can you use this gift for your own wellbeing, rather than feeling obligated to fix everything you notice?
The Both-And Truth
To be neurodivergent is to live a life full of double-edged swords—and this one is a classic. A system that offers insight as well as potential overwhelm.
The goal isn’t to change how your brain works—it’s to help you reunite with this insight and reclaim its rightful place in the world.
When someone stops apologising for their sensitivity and starts recognising it as useful information, everything changes.You can make better decisions.You can trust your gut more.You can stop trying to be neurotypical—and start being authentically yourself.
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